


Motion Of The Ocean

by LuxLouise



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:27:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23176174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuxLouise/pseuds/LuxLouise
Summary: After a date with Cormac, Hermione realized Ron was probably the one for her.
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Cormac McLaggen
Comments: 12
Kudos: 12
Collections: Cards Against Muggles Crack Fest





	Motion Of The Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> This complete silliness was written for the Cards Against Muggles fest on facebook! I'm not sure how great of a crack fic it is, but I tried! I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Black Card: After _______ Hermione knew she had to choose Ron
> 
> White Card: taking note of Cormac McGlaggens girth
> 
> This has not been beta'd so all mistakes are my own!
> 
> I own nothing!

Hermione knew she was a good looking girl. She wasn't too tall, had a nice figure, and she had finally tamed her unruly hair. She and Ron had decided to take some time apart, make sure they were what the other actually wanted. 

That's how Hermione found herself on a date with Cormac McLaggen. He was a fit bloke; tall, muscular, handsome. Cormac had slightly improved his personality since Hogwarts so Hermione figured he would be a good choice to test her new found freedom with. Cormac had quite the reputation amongst witches at the ministry as quite the sex god. 

He picked her up from her flat for dinner which went pretty well. They ate at a trendy restaurant in Diagon Alley followed by a few drinks at the Leaky. When Hermione invited him back to her apartment he hesitated slightly before agreeing. 

"Can I get you another drink, Cormac?" Hermione had walked into her kitchen to open a new bottle of Ogdens and grab a couple glasses. "I've got Ogdens and some muggle scotch my dad loves."

"Anything is fine, I'm not picky."

Hermione took the bottle of Ogdens into the living room to find Cormac looking at the photos on her wall. 

"I thought you and Weasley broke up? You've still got a lot of pictures with him up." He gave her a nod of thanks as he took the glass from her, downing it in one drink. He picked up the bottle and poured himself another healthy shot.

"We did break up but he's still one of my best friends, so the pictures stay up."

Cormac nodded as he continued to meander around her apartment. He pulled a book from her bookshelf before putting it back, picked up a photo before sitting it back down. 

"Not sure how you ever managed to stand to be around Weasley and his pathetic attempts. I've heard he's not great in bed, doesn't have the right size equipment if you get my meaning." 

Cormac threw her a wink. 

"It's not a problem I have, I can guarantee that. I'm sure you've heard I'm quite the generous lover. You're a tiny little thing but I imagine you can handle me."

Hermione turned so he wouldn't see her roll her eyes. He was obviously overcompensating for something. 

Oh well, he's already here. I might as well see what the fuss is about.

Hermione threw back her drink and grabbed Cormac by the hand. 

"Well, why don't we take this back to the bedroom, shall we?"

Cormac put his cup down on her coffee table and grabbed her arse. 

"You won't be disappointed, I can promise you that. Which ones your room? Let me go in first so I can make myself ready for you."

Hermione looked at him suspiciously, maybe he wanted to do push ups or something. 

"Last door on the right. I'll be in a few."

He threw her an exaggerated wink and shut her bedroom door. Deciding to see what he was doing, Hermione grabbed an Extendable Ear from her office and shoved it under the door.

"Engorgio alright, should be ready for her now. The little golden girl is going to know exactly why she doesn't need that absolute tit, Weasley."

Hermione yanked the ear out and threw the door open.

"Finite Incantatem!" 

She pointed her wand at McLaggens cock, as soon as the spell hit, Hermione doubled over with laughter.

"What the fuck Granger?!"

"You...You have a micro penis! How the fuck have you gottena way with this for so long?"

Cormac was glaring at her as he hurriedly threw his clothes back on. 

"None of your fucking business you stupid bitch. No one will ever believe you!"

Hermione finally gained control over herself. 

"Oh I don't care, you've officially ruined me for other men. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone your little secret."

That set Hermione off on another round of giggles. Cormac huffed with rage and stormed out of her apartment. 

When Hermione was able to go more than ten seconds without laughing, she wrote a letter to Ron and sent it off with her owl Athena. 

If that's what she had to look forward to from dating other people, Ron was obviously the one for her. He might not be giant but everyone always said it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean.

Ron Weasley definitely knew how to rock the boat.


End file.
